An inspiration numbing my senses

I sit in silence. My fingers crawl up in my hands. What is the purpose?... what is the purpose.
I sit in silence. Get caught up in my thoughts. The swift of silence in me, dropping on me. The voice of control, fought against my gesture of captivating the blow of integrity.
And the shifting characters passing by, the lives within my soul. The inexpressive face, the never ending eyes, just a body. Sleepless in dreams, moaning in awaking pleasures between my self and the world. For the structure of what begins. The substitute consequences of unforgiving acts of soft harsh burps of ideas. Running. The purpose. Self taken awareness of the function of the brain. Conscious. Unconscious. I take my hands to my face, covered up sadness of the happy feelings. Below the skin lays the truth. Unspoken def words, screams of sweet anxious grabs of the future desired by me. Spilled on the palm of these empty hands. The every day stab on the chest. I need to see it, the heart. Where it all hurts. Pumping into my veins. The bloody gasp of broken cells of success. It is still to come. But I already feel it. Confusion, motivation, strength that betrays the time. When does it come? It won’t go. It bruises from the inside. A packed up reality from hell, directly. Throw it away, there is only one finger pointing at me, my own.
The sicken lips, dried up, kept shut. By the means of pause, I stop. Congested over look of the real me. Enormous hidden potential, until the time comes. If known only to some, even less to me. Where does it go? To the end, and where it all begins. The fabulous life of me, the famous last words… the tragic death of a mark. Songs written about, pictures on the wall, a movie, biographies…
To be big in a small state of mind. The impression left untouched. A desperation tear, falling, transformed into the whole being. I am crawled in my cave, awaiting for the time that surrenders the world, my world. To come out and uncover the hidden, still unrecognised talents.
I sit in silence. Crawled up in my hands.