Uma pequena graçola, porque EU sou uma COMÉDIA!!

Whats My Age Again?

I took her out, it was a Friday night
I wore cologne to get the feeling right
We started makin' out and she took off my pants
But then, I turned on the TV

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by TV shows
What the hell is ADD, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

Then later on, on the drive home
I called her mom from a pay phone
I said I was the cops and your husband's in jail
This state looks down on sodomy

And that's about the time that bitch hung up on me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And are still more amused by prank phone calls
What the hell is call ID, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

And that's about the time she walked away from me
Nobody likes you when you're 23
And you still act like you're in freshman year
What the hell is wrong with me, my friends say I should act my age
What's my age again?

That's about the time that she broke up with me (what's my age again?)
No one should take themselves so seriously
With many years ahead to fall in line
Why would you wish that on me, I'll never wanna act my age
What's my age again?
What's my age again?

What's my age again...

Atchun!

Someone help! Allergies on the run... can't write no more, i.... i..... i ATCHUN!...

computer says no... erh, erh...

Now I say

I think I'm falling for you...

Bora aí Matilde?

Já se tem saudades de uma musiquinha,
umas gargalhadas, belas vozes de cozinha.
De noventa notas acertar em cem,
e com engano pensar: Eu canto bem!

Formar equipas, trocar de microfone,
gargantas a explodir, e sempre um mirone.
A felicidade é genuína, a competição é feroz,
a convicção que alguém tem a melhor voz...

A rainha não está, e lá no fundo dorme a Cinderela.
Podemos soltar as vozes! 'Bora lá oh caramela.
Beber copos de água e voz já afónica,
lembrar como a nossa comédia é crónica!

Tu andas sempre descalço Tom Sawyer...

day in the life of a little girl

smoked words, all that remains

I thought I was living on the sun,
totally free and just like a Hun.
But I got striked by the moon
and from my dreams woke up too soon.

Now everyday a star falls at my feet,
and I struggle and sweat defeat.
I spit cold blood, my hands are dispersed.
When my eyes close I know I'm cursed.

Now my feet are buried in this hell,
my body's trapped in this dark cell.
Ripped my skin off, drained my veins,
the monster ate up all my remains.

There is no prince charming...
Only a toad lying on my pillow.
And for this battle I'm not arming,
but I feel ready to take this billow.

Is it daring enough darling?

- People! This is not working! I can not work like this!!
- May I say some words sir?
- Well yes, of curse...
- I was thinking that maybe I should take off my blouse and drop it on the bed, with no expression on my face...
- Hum... yes, go on.
- And then he would look at me in despite... you know, like he didn't care if I cryed or laughed at him, but knew exactly what I was thinking, exactly how I felt.
- I see... And only then you say your line...
- Yes. I sit on the bed and say: "Is it daring enough darling?"
- It's perfect! I like it. Alright everyone, to your places, let's start shooting...
- Scene five, take two, the bedroom.
- ACTION!

A bigger lie then the one i didn't tell

I drop alone, I tumble,
I fall down on my knees.
I cry pain, I scare,
and in silent I scream.

They go along, they pass.
They do not taste my tears.
I catch my breath, I act,
I hide away my fears.

They get together, they're happy,
and I enjoy the glee.
But share no true smiles,
not in this time to be.

An angel comes, he smiles.
He let's me be, I laugh.
I feel free and not worried.
He picked up my other half.

But still I drown, I choke.
I bury my self in lies.
I must say, I tell,
I make truth rise.

I look around, I'm shocked!
I did not hide so much!
The Queen is raging wild,
here comes the clutch.

"It was not so big! Not for so long!
Your thoughts are way to wrong!
I'm sorry my Queen, my friend!
This story I'm here to mend."

the Oprah Winfrey show

O: Hello everyone. We have a very special guest with us today. She is a beautiful Irish actress that made herself into Hollywood with her amazing performance in the movie "Emma Frost - the beginning", based in a Marvel Comic book, we all remember that. But we're not here to talk about a movie... We're here to talk about her book, a welcome to Shannon Healy McDonnell...

(Big Applause and screams)

Hello Shannon. It's wonderful to have you here once again...

S: It's a pleasure...

O: So you've been here for the first time a couple of years ago because of you're first big blockbuster, and you haven't stoped since then, working with great names like Scorsese and Tarantino... But today you're not here to talk about a movie, you're here to talk about your book! And a great book indeed, I have red it...

S: Thank you, thank you very much...

O: And it's very interesting, because it was inspired in a romance you once had. The way you describe it and talk about it is really funny, because there is no love involved even though you were indeed lovers...

S: (a laugh) That's right. And it all comes down to my theory of the perfect relationship. Because it's not like we didn't care for each other, or didn't like each other, we did, but we were not deeply and blindly in love. And let me tell you that it was great!

(the audience laughs loud)

It's true, I believe that too many feelings involved only cause problems. Even when it's true and pure love, it gets to a point you have to fight for it, and problems come along...

O: But, I have to ask this, do you believe in love?

(Laughs)

S: Oh yes, absolutely! You all know I've been happily living with Joseph Gordon-Levitt for a year now,

(screams from audience)

and I do see love there, we love each other. But the relationship I talk about in the book is proof that there is no need for love all the time and in every boyfriend and girlfriend. That sometimes you find people that are really similar to you and you can just lay back and enjoy being with that person.

O: Is Joseph alright with you saying this??

(everyone laughs, Shannon laughs)

So you think that people should enjoy more, that they can sometimes let a great thing escape because they don't see love in it...

S: Yes. Specially when two brains are so much alike. When it all fits so perfectly.

O: And you say that wasn't love? Are you sure??

(more laughs...)

S: I do understand why you ask that, but it wasn't. We had great times! Times I will remember for the rest of my life. And we're still very good friends, we still talk, we always get together now and then, he's even friends with Joseph, they get along really well. It's like we were soul mates but not meant to be with each other for ever...

O: That is beautiful... Another thing I liked about the hole story is the fact that he is much younger then you, so age really doesn't matter, because people always tend to discriminate the age difference, and that is ridiculous, and you show that in the book... It's a great book! A must read!

S: Thank you Oprah, that's very kind of you.

O: It's true, actually I'm putting it on my list of favorites, on my book club...

(audience applause...)

And you have a surprise for us, right?

S: I do. For every person here I have a copy of my book...

(audience goes wild... screams and claps)

and an invitation to the autograph session on the 22nd of this month...

(audience goes crazy...)

O: Shannon thank you so much for coming, I always enjoy talking to you. Once again love the book, it's a great lesson.

S: Thank you so much. It's always a great pleasure to come here.

O: Shannon everyone!

(applause)

Thank y'all for coming, goodnight everybody. Goodnight.

a scotsman on a horse!!!

Policeman: ...Thank you. And now for the next sketch.


(The policeman removes his helmet, shakes it, proffers it to mum at the table. She takes out a small folded bit of paper, opens an reads.)


Mum: Uhhh. A Scotsman on a horse.

Laces Out!!!!

Nem uma lágrima

Acho que caí num buraco espacial.

As horas não passam,

os minutos congelaram,

os segundos são vazios.

Não sei o que sentir,

como sorrir,

nem tenho vontade de chorar.

Estou no nada,

e até nada é de mais.

E vejo-te, a ti, ao longe.

Raspou um riso por aqui...

e rapidamente derreteu.

Mas valeu a pena

sentir um batimento no peito.

Em todo este vazio

um grão de areia vale ouro.

Amor Sublime

Sonho contigo, no dia em que juntos ficaremos por fim.

Anseio pela hora em que te vejo, pelo dia em que te beijo, tão louco é meu amor por ti.

És tu que me aquece o coração, arrancaste do meu peito a minha vida e nem sabes que a tens em tuas mãos.

Pelas noites penso e choram meus olhos.

Amo-te e não to posso dizer com minhas palavras carregadas de dor.

O que será que sentes tu, ser delicado que reina em minha mente?

Amor da minha vida, paixão do meu viver.

És tudo o que quero, és tudo o que respiro, és tudo o que sinto.

Quero tocar-te e amar-te eternamente no mundo que é este, onde vivo contigo, tão perto, tão longe.

Quando tua imagem bela se ilumina na minha frente tudo fica calmo.

És a paz que me deixa feliz.

Ter-te não é privilégio nem honra, é todo o maravilhoso sublime da arte de amar tão profundamente, puramente, incondicionalmente...

Figura divina, vem ao meu encontro, e com tuas palavras realiza meus sonhos absolutos na realidade aspirante da minha estória ofegante de amor.

Caminho para ti, mas parece que não me vês, ao mesmo tempo que olhas para mim.

Tua eterna amada que respira teu nome para sobreviver.

(lembro-me quando escrevi este texto, já lá vão quatro anos,e ainda é o que tenho em 1o lugar na minha lista)

Desespero de poeta

As palavras fugiram.

Não me lembro quando,

no meu passado elas ficaram

em recordações longinquas.

Onde ficaram as palavras?

Para onde foi a minha escrita?

Sentimentos já não verbalisados,

a minha mão congelou,

a tinta da caneta secou.

Palavras mergulhadas no meu coração,

afundadas na minha mente.

Já não derramo esse sangue de letras,

obscureceram no fundo do meu poço.

Apagaram-se, quebraram-se.

Toda essa força, o gemer da minha alma,

a profunda forma da minha existência,

descalcei-me dela sem saber.

Seria tão fácil assim?

Foi só pegar no papel e escrever.

A virtude de poeta não morreu,

afinal sempre estivera aqui.

A eternidade deste rio que me banha;

afundo a cabeça neste leito,

afogo-me nessas águas.

Isto é o meu verdadeiro amor,

e sem medo deixo o meu corpo morto

Ir, e num último suspiro

ressuscita em mim uma vida perdida,

e volto a escrever.

22/02/2007

A long ago story...

What did I do to you?
Did I hurt you so much
that your heart turned into ice?
Did you never see how much
I loved you?

I begged, and I prayed.
I cryed and said to the sky's:
"I love you, always did!".
But now you have broken
all that love I had.
And like I told you,
never will you find
such treasure as my love,
such beauty as my self.
I am long gone now.